Mediation

The breakdown of a relationship can be a painful and difficult time for all involved. People are often concerned about the emotional and financial cost of protracted negotiations between lawyers and/or court proceedings.

Mediation is a procedure where each party openly discusses their disputes with the assistance of a trained third person in order to try and reach an agreed settlement. We have two expert and highly experienced family mediators in the team, Kirstie Law and Desmond O’Donnell, one of whom is also trained to meet with children as part of the mediation process.

What is mediation?

Family mediators are trained to act impartially and do not seek to apportion blame. Mediation is not marriage guidance nor couple counselling. It is a forum to try and resolve important issues with the assistance of an independent third party, the mediator. Mediation plays an important role in assisting families to address and resolve any issues which arise from separation and divorce, whether in relation to finances or the arrangements for their children. Mediation can also be used by unmarried couples looking to resolve the financial or child arrangements following their separation. Mediation can often be concluded within weeks or a few months, which is typically much quicker than the court process.

Will mediation be suitable for me?

Although there are cases where it may not be appropriate, mediation offers an alternative to court. You can ask the mediator to assist you to resolve any issues that you have. The mediation process can help to reduce tension and hostility and allows couples make their own informed decisions about their futures. It can also help facilitate a smoother and faster separation by avoiding court proceedings.

Another advantage of mediation is that when a couple reach a settlement with the assistance of a mediator, they are more likely to abide by its terms. This is because they have invested time in the process and strived to achieve a settlement. Mediation also allows parties to think ‘outside the box’ and reach a settlement that a judge may not have ordered, but which works for them both and/or their children.

However, mediation only works if both parties enter into the process in good faith. It is unlikely to be successful therefore if, for example, one party is only attending mediation to delay matters or to try to avoid providing full financial disclosure.

I am worried about being in the same room as my ex-partner. Can I still use mediation?

If one or both participants do not feel comfortable being in the same room as each other, then shuttle mediation can be used. This is a form of mediation where, instead of the couple being in the same room, they are in separate rooms and the mediator effectively shuttles in-between rooms. Shuttle mediation may be helpful if somebody feels that they have been affected by coercive or controlling behaviour or if somebody is finding it difficult to come to terms with the end of the relationship.

How does mediation work in relation to children?

Some mediators are qualified to see children as part of the mediation process. Having had an initial meeting with the parents (who must both agree to the mediator seeing the child) the mediator will then have a meeting with the child without the parents, although another adult will be present. After this, the mediator will report back to the parents any points that have been specifically agreed with the child. This then enables the parents to consider the child’s wishes and feelings when discussing the future arrangements for them.

It is important to emphasise that the child is not being asked to decide what will happen, but told that their parents want to know what they feel about the current situation and any suggestions they have regarding the arrangements for them going forward.

If you have a complaint about mediation please refer to Joanna Pratt the head of the family team in the first instance and if not satisfied then Kirstie Law is a member of the Family Mediation Council and their complaints procedure is here.

Family-related legal issues can often be emotionally challenging and complex. Our team are experts in dealing with these matters and are here to guide and support you every step of the way. Our family and divorce lawyers help client across Kent, London and the South East. We advise on a full range of family legal services, from divorce/dissolution and related financial settlements to the arrangements for children and associated children matters. We also advise unmarried couples on the breakdown of their relationships.

We have particularly extensive experience in supporting high net worth individuals, dealing with matters involving complex asset structures and international elements. We help clients put in place nuptial or living together agreements, and advise on steps that need to be taken to protect our clients in need of or responding to injunctions.

Our team of family lawyers are legal professionals who are renowned for offering practical, clear and common sense advice and for providing compassion, empathy and a steadying hand in even the most unusual and complex of circumstances.

Our expert family and divorce lawyers in Kent are leaders in their field and our Family department is regularly recognised in rankings such as The Times’ ‘Top Law Firms’, Spear’s 500 Family Law Index and ePrivate Client’s Top Family Law Firms. We are also ranked as Band One in the Chambers legal directory and as Top Tier in the Legal 500.